JUST being a mom…
I have had this conversation with friends quite a few times recently. A lot of us leave our careers to have a family and stay at home. This is a huge job in itself, but we sometimes feel like we need more of an identity than JUST being a mom. Why is this? Why do some women think of it as JUST being a mom and not thought of as being the center of your child’s universe? Is this why I started my blog? Probably. When I first started it I thought I was just creating an online diary for my family and then it grew. I love it though and the doors it has opened for me. I think for some it is scrapbooking or running ultras…or being the CEO of Pepsi. There is no right or wrong answer. The answer is different for everyone.
People talk about “mommy guilt” and whether moms are able to “have it all”. Who is defining what “having it all” means? If having it all means they are a great mom, great executive, great cook, great housekeeper, and a great wife that probably means they don’t sleep at night because they are too busy and I don’t consider that “having it all”. I think having it all is doing what makes you feel content. Whether that is a full time job, a full time mom, or finding a balance between. I am so tired of hearing about mommy guilt on programs like the TODAY Show. How often do we hear about daddy guilt? Not very often. I think it is human nature, to a certain extent, to want what we don’t have. If we are at home we wish we could put on our cute work clothes and have a little adult interaction. If we are at work we wish we could be at home and clean up the spilled orange juice with some afternoon cuddles. But it is no place to judge anyone else what is right for them and that is exactly what so many do. Why? I feel like we all struggle with our own decisions all the time anyways we don’t need others questioning us about those decisions and calling it mommy guilt. Like I said, there is no right or wrong answer. It is different for everyone.
This brings me back to my original thought, do stay at home moms often feel like JUST being a mom isn’t enough because this is something society tells us or because it is human nature to want more of an identity? I want honest answers with no judgement here 🙂
katie | 26th Sep 14
I left my job last June when we had our little boy. He was born with some medical issues, and he WAS a full time job for some of his first year! I often read mommy bloggers who somehow make homemade, organic meals, sew their kids clothes, homeschool the older kids, with immaculate homes and feel terrible about myself – when my husband comes home at night, I consider it an accomplishment if we are both alive, dressed, and hydrated ;). I kid about that, but not about the silly mommy wars games and how it makes me feel. I take C running in the morning with me because otherwise I’d never get any ME time, and I learned to stop feeling guilty about that! And some days, dinner is ready by 5; other days, 7:30. But my kid is happy, I feel fulfilled, and life isn’t perfect, but it’s exactly as it should be!
Half Crazy Mama | 27th Sep 14
I COMPLETELY agree Katie. I have days where it looks like a bomb went off in my house and I am just happy everyone is happy. Being a mom is the hardest job of all. 🙂