10 Things Never To Say To A Runner

When we need some running motivation in our lives it is always good to turn to runner’s humor. When you are training for a marathon and need inspiration, look to the runners community. It is an amazing group of people and sometimes non-runners just can’t understand. That is why I put together the top 10 things NOT to say to a runner. 

“Don’t you hate running?”- If I hated running would I spend most of my disposable income on race entries just to get a wall full of medals?  Probably not.

“Running is so pointless.” In my opinion, if running is pointless than all those other sports that require running is pointless too right? It would be awfully hard to score a touchdown without all that pointless running.

“I ran a 3 mile marathon once.”- No, you didn’t, sorry.  A marathon is 26.2 miles because that is the distance a Greek soldier ran from Marathon to Athens in 490 BC to report the Greek victory at the Battle of Marathon (after which he dropped dead).  But congrats on the 3 mile race because that is still awesome.

“My brother in law who lives 43 states away ran the NYC Marathon too. Do you know him?” Probably not because there were somewhere around 50,000 people who ran that race. Way more than the entire population of the town I grew up in and I still don’t even know all those people.

“Oh, are you a jogger?”- No, I’m a runner.  The term jogging is defined as “running at a gentle pace.”  If you are running at all, you are a runner.  No matter how fast or how slow, you can call yourself a runner.

“You don’t look very fast.” Thanks for that confidence booster.  I never said I was fast, just that I was a runner.  Would you find it insulting if I said you don’t look very nice?

“I think $150 for a race entry is a waste of money.” Do you remember a time when you felt so awesome about yourself that just thinking about it brings back a smile? Well, I spend $150 so I can feel like that regularly and that to me is TOTALLY worth it.

“I think running is dangerous.” I think driving on California freeways is way more dangerous, but I still do it.  Running is WAY safer than a whole list of things that I can name off if you want me to?

“Do you still have all your toenails?” Unless the person you are asking is your bestest closest friend in the entire world I think this is a really weird question to ask someone.  Do you ask a chef if they still have all their fingers?

“Don’t you get frustrated that you never win?” Ummm no, I would love to beat 25,000 other runners sometime, but last I checked I wasn’t Kenyan so my odds are greatly decreased.  I am totally fine not winning.